2008 Woodie Awards
On the Prowl
By: Mona Lotts
Issue date: 10/3/08 Section: TimeOut
When it comes to sex, many of the same rules of real estate still apply: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION! And so does the real estate agent, who'll be showing you around. Waterfront real estate is usually a good buy and so are the penthouses because the higher up, the better. And remember, when it comes to real estate, check out all of the rooms and surrounding areas since the bedroom isn't the only room that matters.
Office: Oh yes, who doesn't love being thrown over a desk by a power ful CEO (or during role play if you have a good imagination) and making all of your fantasies come true? Um, I do; pick me! The swirly office chair is also a good time if you let your partner get really comfortable by beginning with a little lap dance and moving slowly to the desk. Warning: the desk or the chair is definitely a better idea than the floor of the office… beware of carpet burn.
Beach: This waterfront property can cause discomfort unless you bring a nice blanket to prevent the sand from irritating your special regions. However, when everything's right (and not sandy or crabby), there's nothing more romantic than a nice moon-lit beach with the sound of waves crashes and your partner hitting all of the right spots.
Crowded Party: Yes, you know you love that little tug on you arm, and a hand grasping yours and pulling you upstairs while the crowded party continues. Your friends will be downstairs having boring, meaningless conversation while you're having mind-blowing sex upstairs. Of course, when you finally come back with a huge smile plastered on your face, your friends will know exactly what you've been doing.
Car: What, are you still stuck in the 1950s era?! Come on, who does it in the backseat of the car anymore except for silly high school teenagers? The best place dealing with a car would be on the hood of the car (note: this may be a little more difficult with an SUV or truck). I also recommend doing this at night, somewhere a little secluded and not right beside a busy interstate. Just roll down the windows, play some sweet, romantic music - or angry, head-banger music, whatever you're into - and just let it happen.
Office: Oh yes, who doesn't love being thrown over a desk by a power ful CEO (or during role play if you have a good imagination) and making all of your fantasies come true? Um, I do; pick me! The swirly office chair is also a good time if you let your partner get really comfortable by beginning with a little lap dance and moving slowly to the desk. Warning: the desk or the chair is definitely a better idea than the floor of the office… beware of carpet burn.
Beach: This waterfront property can cause discomfort unless you bring a nice blanket to prevent the sand from irritating your special regions. However, when everything's right (and not sandy or crabby), there's nothing more romantic than a nice moon-lit beach with the sound of waves crashes and your partner hitting all of the right spots.
Crowded Party: Yes, you know you love that little tug on you arm, and a hand grasping yours and pulling you upstairs while the crowded party continues. Your friends will be downstairs having boring, meaningless conversation while you're having mind-blowing sex upstairs. Of course, when you finally come back with a huge smile plastered on your face, your friends will know exactly what you've been doing.
Car: What, are you still stuck in the 1950s era?! Come on, who does it in the backseat of the car anymore except for silly high school teenagers? The best place dealing with a car would be on the hood of the car (note: this may be a little more difficult with an SUV or truck). I also recommend doing this at night, somewhere a little secluded and not right beside a busy interstate. Just roll down the windows, play some sweet, romantic music - or angry, head-banger music, whatever you're into - and just let it happen.
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