2008 Woodie Awards
The Top 5
Perks of being sick
By: Zach Musgrave
Issue date: 9/19/08 Section: TimeOut
5:You don't have to go to class. Even better, you're actively discouraged from going to class! Though it may be your responsibility to show up for lecture all (read: some) of the time, when you're carrying some weird strain of staphylococcus no one wants you in their building, let alone their classroom. In fact, being sick is one of the few legitimate reasons for missing class. According to Clemson, the few others include court appearances, military service and family funerals. At least to me, throwing up a lot sounds by far the most preferable.
4:People bring you stuff. Having just come off four days of close company with our dear friend strep throat, I can personally attest to this one. People bringing you stuff ROCKS. My good friend, Lauren, brought me popsicles, without prompting, because in her words "They're the ultimate sick food!" Later that day, my roommates went to Bi-Lo and brought me chicken noodle soup. It's true you can always ask people to bring you stuff, but when they just do it out of the goodness of their hearts you enjoy it more. Additives include extra love.
3: Deadlines are extended. Why didn't you hand your work in on time? You were sick - the end - no questions asked. You simply could not prop your laptop up and hammer out 600 words! Being sick is the one acceptable time (besides summer break) to let your e-mail inbox languish, important messages unopened. Once you finally do read them, and recall that damn article you were supposed to hand in three days earlier to TimeOut, well it's too late. Bonus points if there are multiple messages per sender, getting more frantic as press night approaches.
2: Your family feels guilty. More specifically, your-family-feels-guilty-and-they-hurry-up-and-send-you-cookies. I love my family, but they procrastinate as much as I do. Through the weekly phone calls or what-have-you, I'd heard rumors to the effect that my dear sweet mother was sending me cookies. The thing is, these rumblings started at least two weeks ago. How long does it take to bake cookies? Not long at all when your son has a 102-degree fever and tonsils the size of Madagascar. Apparently they went out in two-day mail yesterday. Love you, Mom.
1: You can sleep as much as you want. This has always been important to me, as a sometime-narcoleptic, but it's even more important when I'm sick. Usually when you get "run down" you end up falling ill. Oftentimes, this is partly due to a lack of sleep. So when recuperating it's important to get a hella-lot of rest. That's all you can do, anyway. Sleep. And dream of better days. When you have to write Top 5 articles for the paper. Crap, I can feel my fever skyrocketing! I'm going back to bed.
4:People bring you stuff. Having just come off four days of close company with our dear friend strep throat, I can personally attest to this one. People bringing you stuff ROCKS. My good friend, Lauren, brought me popsicles, without prompting, because in her words "They're the ultimate sick food!" Later that day, my roommates went to Bi-Lo and brought me chicken noodle soup. It's true you can always ask people to bring you stuff, but when they just do it out of the goodness of their hearts you enjoy it more. Additives include extra love.
3: Deadlines are extended. Why didn't you hand your work in on time? You were sick - the end - no questions asked. You simply could not prop your laptop up and hammer out 600 words! Being sick is the one acceptable time (besides summer break) to let your e-mail inbox languish, important messages unopened. Once you finally do read them, and recall that damn article you were supposed to hand in three days earlier to TimeOut, well it's too late. Bonus points if there are multiple messages per sender, getting more frantic as press night approaches.
2: Your family feels guilty. More specifically, your-family-feels-guilty-and-they-hurry-up-and-send-you-cookies. I love my family, but they procrastinate as much as I do. Through the weekly phone calls or what-have-you, I'd heard rumors to the effect that my dear sweet mother was sending me cookies. The thing is, these rumblings started at least two weeks ago. How long does it take to bake cookies? Not long at all when your son has a 102-degree fever and tonsils the size of Madagascar. Apparently they went out in two-day mail yesterday. Love you, Mom.
1: You can sleep as much as you want. This has always been important to me, as a sometime-narcoleptic, but it's even more important when I'm sick. Usually when you get "run down" you end up falling ill. Oftentimes, this is partly due to a lack of sleep. So when recuperating it's important to get a hella-lot of rest. That's all you can do, anyway. Sleep. And dream of better days. When you have to write Top 5 articles for the paper. Crap, I can feel my fever skyrocketing! I'm going back to bed.
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