2008 Woodie Awards
The Top 5: Worst Summer Vacation Spots
By: Michael Hunley, Chris Jaynes, Lindsay Brasington
Issue date: 4/20/07 Section: TimeOut
Summer school: How about spending a good ole summer at Clemson University? Or even better-Tri-County Tech? Not really our idea of "Have A Great Summer." It is true you'll get to spend the season here in one of the most beautiful places in South Carolina, but "summer" and "school" should never be placed next to each other in a sentence. I can't really imagine getting a well-rounded education when your math, art and English professors all have to be the same person. Not to mention the fact that you'll have approximately two classmates.
Myrtle Beach: This may seem like an obviously bad choice, but if you planned on visiting Laguna Beach then apparently you need to be reminded of the horrors that await you in the dredges of Horry County. The Pavilion was an "amusement park" that attracted more Sketchy McSketchertons than kids, and this was supposed to be the crown jewel of the Redneck-Mecca. This brings me to the rednecks. My idea of vacation doesn't include spending all my money on Bud Light and t-shirts with rebel flags on it. Really, Eagles, how many key chains and towels does one need? Family trips should not be made in an El Camino. Fitting all the kiddies in a truck bed (or whatever it is) and driving up and down is a little to close to the NASCAR experience for me to relax.
Laguna Beach: Sure, it's nice to dream about being as rich, beautiful and shallow as the characters from MTV's hit "Reality Show," but would you really want to vacation there? One day has more drama than a week-long marathon of Lifetime movies. And what exactly would you do all day? The only thing the characters do on the show is drink and have sex; does Laguna Beach even have a Taco Bell? Or a Target? Hell, what about a Hobby Lobby?
Kazakhstan: Made famous from last year's hit comedy "Borat," the welfare of this country was most certainly satirized by the filmmakers (Kazakhstan's government was furious with Sacha Baron Cohen's depiction, appropriately enough). But seriously, who are you going to believe - the government of the ninth-largest territory in the world or the actor who played the funny lemur in "Madagascar?"
La France: Oh, La France: So mysterious and enticing, but also really skeezy. Though the fact that it's not even on Wikipedia is not a good thing. Imagine spending a fun-filled summer in the woods of a town known mainly for the fact that it has Me-Maw's Diner. And unfortunately, the wonder of La France is not often experienced by Clemson students, which might be a good thing. A jaunt through the town will reveal that, essentially, it takes about five minutes to drive through the whole place. Nevertheless, behold the beauty of La France: there's Me-Maw's, of course, and the La France post office and La France Elementary and … yeah, that's about it.
Myrtle Beach: This may seem like an obviously bad choice, but if you planned on visiting Laguna Beach then apparently you need to be reminded of the horrors that await you in the dredges of Horry County. The Pavilion was an "amusement park" that attracted more Sketchy McSketchertons than kids, and this was supposed to be the crown jewel of the Redneck-Mecca. This brings me to the rednecks. My idea of vacation doesn't include spending all my money on Bud Light and t-shirts with rebel flags on it. Really, Eagles, how many key chains and towels does one need? Family trips should not be made in an El Camino. Fitting all the kiddies in a truck bed (or whatever it is) and driving up and down is a little to close to the NASCAR experience for me to relax.
Laguna Beach: Sure, it's nice to dream about being as rich, beautiful and shallow as the characters from MTV's hit "Reality Show," but would you really want to vacation there? One day has more drama than a week-long marathon of Lifetime movies. And what exactly would you do all day? The only thing the characters do on the show is drink and have sex; does Laguna Beach even have a Taco Bell? Or a Target? Hell, what about a Hobby Lobby?
Kazakhstan: Made famous from last year's hit comedy "Borat," the welfare of this country was most certainly satirized by the filmmakers (Kazakhstan's government was furious with Sacha Baron Cohen's depiction, appropriately enough). But seriously, who are you going to believe - the government of the ninth-largest territory in the world or the actor who played the funny lemur in "Madagascar?"
La France: Oh, La France: So mysterious and enticing, but also really skeezy. Though the fact that it's not even on Wikipedia is not a good thing. Imagine spending a fun-filled summer in the woods of a town known mainly for the fact that it has Me-Maw's Diner. And unfortunately, the wonder of La France is not often experienced by Clemson students, which might be a good thing. A jaunt through the town will reveal that, essentially, it takes about five minutes to drive through the whole place. Nevertheless, behold the beauty of La France: there's Me-Maw's, of course, and the La France post office and La France Elementary and … yeah, that's about it.
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